A Low Carb, High Cheese Taco

Snow days are always a great excuse to whip up something new in the kitchen. When I was a kid it was always pancakes with something weird in them, like gummy worms or stale chopped up peeps from last Easter. I think my mom is pretty happy I moved on from that phase of my life since there are now pink stains on our ceiling from when I would attempt a big flip - not me, the pancakes. The closest thing I could do to a flip as a child was when I would bounce on a trampoline from my butt onto my feet. I always nailed it.

Three things I always have in my fridge – cheese, eggs, bacon, and chives. I’m completely lying about the chives, but it makes me sound cool and effortless, like Martha Stewart in the late 90’s. BUT WAIT! Aren’t you supposed to buy bread and milk in emergency situations like this!? I will never understand why the night before a giant storm people subject themselves to a trip to the grocery store – where adults are acting like 15-year-old girls at a Taylor Swift concert… except instead of an mildly talented pop sensation, the star of the show is literally a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread (two extremely irrelevant ingredients, unless you plan on eating nothing but cereal and dry toast for the entire snowpocalypse).

Well long story short, I didn’t have any bread to have with my eggs. NBD. I didn't need the carbs anyway. Instead, I made a fried cheese and egg taco. Hmmm, how do I explain this better? You know that crispy burnt piece of cheese you would pull off the stove and secretly eat after making a grilled cheese? Imagine only that type of cheese as the vehicle for your fried egg. Yeah.

Ingredients

shredded cheese – pick your poison (My favorite’s gouda…  jk, it’s cheddar)

thick cut bacon

1-2 eggs

chopped chives

cracked pepper – because it sounds fancier than normal pepper

salt – if you’re a psycho like me and think cheese isn’t salty enough on it’s own

Recipe

First things first, cook the bacon. You can bake it, fry it, microwave it – anything to get it crispy. Let it cool and then chop it up. Set aside.

Find yourself a serious non-stick pan. I say serious because if you bought your pan from an infomercial and it’s green, it’s not serious.

On a low flame, sprinkle a handful of shredded cheese directly onto the serious non-stick pan (no spray needed) in the shape of a circle – whatever size you want the taco shell to be. Make sure not to completely load up the pan with cheese (tempting, I know). You want some holes in between your shreds of cheese.

Let the cheese melt until it is bubbling – it will start getting slightly darker. Then, crack an egg (or two) directly on top of the cheese. Let the egg whites spread out across the cheese, but try to keep the yolk in the center of the circle.

Sidenote – if you’re not about the fried egg, try cracking the egg into a bowl and scrambling it and then pouring it into the pan.

Once the egg is almost completely white around the sides, sprinkle on the chopped bacon – don’t be shy. Add the chives, salt, pepper, etc. And by “etc.” I mean literally anything you want.

Allow the egg(s) to cook to your liking. I like my yolk super runny, but if you don’t add a lid to the pan to help steam the top of the egg.

Use a spatula to release the cheese from the pan. Start from the edges and work your way in. Once the cheese/egg is free, you can slide it right onto a plate and eat it “open-face” or you can hold it like a taco shell. Keep in mind that once the cheese is removed from the heat that it will harden pretty quickly. My trick is to put it directly into a taco holder so that it forms the correct shape.

Serves: 1 – a lot (depending on how many you make). They only take about 3-5 minutes each (kind of like a pancake), so go cray!!

Enjoy and be safe out there peeps! Do everything in your power to avoid those milk sandwiches, you're better than that!! 

Easy, Cheesy, Beautiful... PIZZA MAC

I have to be honest with you, I would have never made this dish on my own. I LOVE mac and cheese and I LOVE pizza. But, to me they seemed like two separate entities that could not be messed with. So, when my coworker asked me to make this recipe for our Ugly Sweater Potluck at work (yes, that’s a thing), I was hesitant.  This was until I got a taste of the final product.

It was easy, it was cheesy, and it was seriously beautiful. Here it is people. The greatest collaboration since Shakira and Beyonce’s Beautiful Liar, pizza macaroni and cheese remix brought to you by DJ GC. Actually, the original recipe comes from Buzzfeed, but I always like to add my own personal touch. Like the time I used a sharpie to change the “GAP” logo on my new sweatshirt to “GAB” in 3rd grade.

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Ingredients

6 tbsp butter

pepperoni slices (some chopped) OR NOT. If you want to make it vegetarian, then do you.

2 cloves garlic

6 tbsp flour

6 cups whole milk

16 oz shredded cheddar

16 oz shredded mozzarella

fresh sliced mozzarella

marinara sauce - if you’re going to use jarred sauce, just don’t tell me

1 lb pasta of your choice… go crazy

Recipe

Cook the pasta in a heavily salted pot of boiling water. Like, a hefty pinch is an understatement. Cook al dente. Set aside.

Melt the butter in a pot with chopped pepperoni and garlic. Cook on medium heat until the garlic is cooked, but NOT burnt. How can you tell? Allow the garlic to become somewhat transparent and golden. If the edges start turning brown/black… it’s burning.

Slowly add flour – make sure to continue mixing so that there are no clumps of flour. This will make the butter mixture super thick. Cook for 2 minutes, constantly mixing.

Add milk and stir. Continue stirring until the sauce thickens. This may take some time. I know, waiting sucks.

Add all the shredded cheese to the pot. This is the portion of the recipe where dreams come true. Keep stirring until all of the cheese is melted and bubbly and beautiful. Pull up your spoon from the mixture and admire the cheese porn. Taste test #1.

Add cooked pasta and stir. Make sure all the pasta is covered in the magic cheese sauce. Taste test #2. Add some more salt, perhaps?

Pour the pasta into a skillet or casserole pan. Pour the “homemade” pizza sauce on top of the pasta (use as much or as little as you’d like!). Add fresh mozzarella and remaining pepperoni slices. Taste test #3 – just because fresh mozz is everything.

Bake at 400 for 30 minutes or however long it takes to make the cheese golden brown. You’ll know it’s done because it will look like a cooked pizza… LAST AND FINAL TASTE TEST!

The great news about this stuff is that unlike real pizza, it reheats almost perfectly – even in a microwave (monkey covering eyes emoji)!

Serves: A lot. But also not a lot if you want to eat it all yourself #nojudgment

Shout out to Buzzfeed Food for finally noticing me and all 3,000 people who liked my pizza mac pic on @brbcookingdinner. This one is for you guys.

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